I am Ready to Settle Down (Part 4)

My fourth point is, be prepared; your man will come when you least expect it. Naomi had stated earlier that she left full and came back empty, but in fact she had the land in Moab that her husband owned. Later you will see how important this land is.

One of the pastors at Ben Hill, Rev. Gigi Warren, stated she would not want a bozo because she'd rather have a Boaz. I agree with her. Boaz was Naomi's husband's relative. This was important because it was customary for a close relative to "redeem" the land (Leviticus 25:25). What land? Naomi's land. Boaz was wealthy. He owned the fields that Ruth was working in. He admired Ruth's faithfulness and loyalty. She didn't have to be out there working. She could have returned to her family and possibly remarried. She wasn't complaining, she didn't mope around, and she had no little gods. Ruth also listened to her support system. She washed and anointed herself and went to the threshing floor where Boaz was. This is where my knowledge from multiple religion courses kick in-thanks to my education atStillman College. The threshing floor was usually away from where people lived, normally in a field or on a hilltop. The threshing floor was used to separate the grain from the chaff (the good from the bad). Threshing floors had a tendency of being robbed for the grain so it was very common for someone to sleep there overnight. That is why Boaz was there. Ruth didn't wash and anoint herself to be romantically involved with Boaz. Symbolically, the threshing floor represents a place of judgment/testing and even a place to receive blessings. Read the story and you will see that Boaz "redeemed" the land (only after another relative declined to redeem Ruth) and Ruth became his wife. I think Ruth never expected that Boaz would be her husband; there was a possibility the other male relative would have "redeemed" her.

Here is where I come in. Threshing floors are connected with altars (1 Chronicles 21:18). I was focused, working on me and improving myself. One Sunday my girlfriend (one of my support system) and I attended the 7:30 am service at church. This was normal for me. The only difference was I didn't pray at my seat, instead I went to the front near the altar. After church we visited the mall and as we were leaving, I complimented a gentleman by saying, "You look nice in your suit." I was tired of seeing black men in the mall with their pants hanging down. The compliment was innocent. That gentleman stopped me to talk and the rest is history. I never expected to meet my husband in Macy's on a Sunday afternoon.

Have a sweet day,
Shaneka

I am Ready to Settle Down (Part 3)

My third point is, you have to surround yourself with people that support you. When Naomi and Ruth returned to Bethlehem from Moab, the people started talking. The conversations probably went something like this, "Girl, you know Naomi is back. She got her daughter-in-law with her too. That's so sad what happened to them. How are they gonna make it? Naomi acknowledged she had "left full and came back empty."

Even though Naomi might have felt the way she did, she was Ruth's support system. With her love and wisdom, she instructed her on what to do and how to behave. This is what you need. You don't need your girlfriends who are single and sailing in the same boat as you to give you advice. You need someone with wisdom that will provide advice in a loving and supportive manner. You don't need to be pointed in the wrong direction. Stop calling the psychic lines asking them about your love life.

My support system became the women at my church (at the time it was New Beginnings Full Gospel Baptist Church). I was able to study more and ask questions for guidance. Don't get me wrong, I talked to my friends but what I shared with them was limited. As I improved my life and learned from my support system, I disclosed to my friends so that they could do the same. This is what I describe as expanding and empowering the support system. Now you have to take a roll call of your support system. Who is in it? What are they contributing? Is it positive or negative? What am I missing inmy support system? How do I get it? If you need assistance, give me a call.

Have a sweet day,
Shaneka

I am Ready to Settle Down (Part 2)

If you read part one of this post, then I hope you read the book of Ruth. Assuming you did, I will move to my second point. You have to get busy doing something productive that will improve your life. Naomi had lost her husband and two sons. This made her and Ruth widows. Here you have two women, one old and the other young, to care for themselves. You have to understand the situation these women were in. You see, if Ruth's brother-in-law was living then he would have been able to take her as his wife and give her children to carry on his brother's name (Deut. 25:5). Ruth would have been taken care of by him. This wasn't the case so Ruth had to get busy working (Ruth 2:2).

I did the same thing. I started channeling my energy into self-improvement in my career and spiritual life. I had to do a roll call of self-improvements. I wanted to get my life in order. I couldn't be a "gift" with money problems or self-esteem issues. Same thing for you. You have to focus your time and energy on improving your situation. You cannot afford to sit around and mope about this or that. You don't need a man to come into a dysfunctional and dramatic life. You want him to enter into an organized, serene, and responsible situation. Do like Ruth and get to working. First you make a list of what you need to improve. Second set reasonable, short-term goals for each need. Third, give each goal a target date that is realistically achievable. Fourth, get support to help you stay focused to achieve the goals. If you need my assistance, give me a call.

Have a sweet day,
Shaneka

I am Ready to Settle Down (Part 1)

I can remember when I was ready to settle down and exit the world of dating drama. I did not want to get married, per se, but I wanted to be in a committed, loving, and faithful relationship. I did not want to deal with the lies, cheating, and being a "link" in a man's chain. I wanted to be the main girl and the only girl. By the way, if you have not read about Ruth, then you must do so to understand my message. It is a short book (in the Bible) with a powerful messsage. Long story short, Ruth was married to Naomi's son and he died. After Ruth's husband died, she made a decision based on love and loyalty to remain with her mother-in-law versus returning home to her family. In addition, Ruth had given up her idol gods when she married into the family and decided she will continue serving 'THE God'.

Here is where my first point comes in. When I was ready to settle down, I had to make a decision too. I had too many gods in my life that were distracting me. Little gods can be something you consistently do in an unhealthy manner whereby trying to get a positive result or feeling. Little gods leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, and hurt. Little gods can range from drinking and drugging, promiscuity, clubbing,sexting,over eating, manipulation,money,vanity,telling lies, etc. I know what mine were, but you have to recognize yours. Once I decided to focus on "THE God' consistently is when I casually met the man that would be my husband. Looking back, I now know that I had to be loyal to my God. I had to love Him and myself. I had to learn not to put any little gods before Him. It was a struggle to love myself; however I learned to love me and I am so glad I did. Once you start to really love yourself,those little gods will go away.

Now you might wonder what does this have to do with being ready to settle down. A lot! If you have found yourself tired of these crazy men and you are worn slap silly over the drama and mental stress, then this is for you. If you are yearning for "true love" that will not waiver and is kind and gentle, then this is for you. The real true love begins with the source-your Higher Power. He saturates your soul until you are filled with self-love. That's awesome! He has to do this first in order to cleanse and prepare you to be the perfect "gift" for the man you will settle down with. Now, when I do counseling I put my personal beliefs to the side to be ethical. So if you need assistance with self-love, then give me a call. We can work together. In the meantime, stay tuned for Part 2 of this message.

Have a sweet day,
Shaneka

Too Much Pain

I will cause breath to enter you that you may come to life…Ezekiel 37:5 (NASV)

NOT TODAY; you are not going to die today. NOT TODAY; you are not going to burn yourself today. NOT TODAY; you are not going to cut your body today. The pain is dreadfully awful and unbearable so you would rather die than live; you would rather burn or cut your body than feel the emotional pain. You would rather numb yourself with alcohol and drugs. You feel no one is listening and nobody cares. You want to give up; you want to forget that painful experience. You feel empty inside, hopeless, and tired. There is a message of hope and restoration in the story of the dry bones. These bones were broken, forgotten, and lifeless; however the bones were given vitality and life. No matter how hopeless your situation may appear, the reality is it can be revived. No matter how much pain you feel, you can be rejuvenated. No matter how broken you are, you can be restored. No matter how lost you feel, you can be reconciled. You matter! You are worth being loved.

Today you will choose to get help from someone who cares. Today you will choose to not harm your body. Today you will choose not to drink yourself into a quiet sleep. You will choose hope, peace, and healing. Today you will choose to LIVE!

Wow, this is a wonderful opportunity for you to change the direction of your journey! Allow me to walk with you, let’s get started. Click here to schedule an appointment.

Have a sweet day,

Shaneka